Journal Entry #10: Love yourself first

Overall the year 2015 was a year of growth. I turned 21, enrolled into college again (I took a year off), fell in love, and fell out of it. It wasn’t the easiest year, but I did have a lot of smiles and laughter.

Turning 21 was a very hard pill to swallow. Even though I’m in my early twenties, sometimes I feel as if I’m missing out on being young because I’m preparing for my career and life for when I’m older. Being in college and preparing for a career is very hard sometimes. I have to remind myself that I’m working towards a better future. Even when a paper or a project doesn’t go how I would like, I have to remember that it’s only a small hurdle. Things will get in your way and its up to you to decide how the outcome will be. 

As for the falling in and out of love, there was a guy who was (and still is) amazing. We became friends very fast and would tell each other everything. We would stay up late watching movies, talk for hours, and I was so happy. I was even happier when I found out that he liked me as well. Unfortunately he went to college out of state and his feelings for me were left behind. Things became obviously distant between us and while I thought he still liked me, he had already found someone else. It was very hard for me, I’m only human, but I threw myself into school projects and work. It’s not amazing, but I passed the semester with a 3.0 GPA and an opportunity to have an independent study with one of my instructors.

 I am very proud of myself for achieving those things even though my heart was breaking. I also relied on my family more and became closer to them in the process. I think the main idea of this ramble is that even though things aren’t going you planned, things will eventually fall into place.

 It’s important to keep looking forward and to stop looking back. It’s helpful to pull from your past to improve yourself for the future; but dwelling in the past will only keep you there. I really hope this novella helps someone to keep moving forward, even when you feel like you can’t. And always remember to love yourself first. The longest relationship a person has is the one with his or herself; and that’s the one we constantly need to work on. Much love and good wishes for 2016!




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